Do You Intimidate Your Boss?

Do You Intimidate Your Boss? If everyone was actually as kind, considerate, and mature as they’re supposed to be at work, I wouldn’t need to write this nor you read it. However, that’s no more true at work than in life. So you may find yourself in the uncomfortable position of suspecting you intimidate your boss, however inadvertently. What does intimidate mean? I’m not of course talking about physical threats or even verbal. These are matters for the police or union/lawyer responses and outside of the scope of this blog. No, I’m talking about something more subtle. It is a vague feeling, suspected but never spoken of (and therefore a poster child for an undercurrent), that your boss doesn’t like you for reasons that are obscure to you. The result is that you don’t get the praise, plum assignment, exposure to senior managers or membership in your boss’ in-group (I have some other posts on in-groups). Even though your work is excellent, you feel stuck in a corner, ignored. You are beginning to suspect that not only does your boss not like you, you might intimidate him. Can you threaten your boss without meaning to? Of course. There are any…

Benefiting from Being In the Posse
Power for Employees / February 1, 2021

 Benefiting from Being In the Posse So you’re in the posse, the chosen in-group. You’re invited to the TGIFs and the bull session isn’t complete without you. Congratulations. However, a seat at the table is not enough. If all you do is laugh at their jokes and nod vigorously, you’ll gradually but surely slip out of the in-group. To stay in, you need a presence. How? This post will discuss what you need and how you to fake it until you feel confident. Good interventions When first included, you may not know the topic or perspective needed. Do some homework. Zero in on where to make an effective intervention. Being for or against what the rest of the posse are for/against is not usually enough. Make substantive points. Fit them in as appropriate but don’t cram. Even one effective intervention will add credibility. Don’t talk off the top of your head. Prepare to impress. Make the point with the posse quickly Often in-groupers have good points but don’t say them effectively and quickly. They give the impression of thinking out loud. Don’t assume you can. You’re untested and the in-group posse won’t sit through your musings. Practice the effective and…

Is It Worth Being an Insider?
Power for Employees / January 25, 2021

Is It Worth Being an Insider? It’s a lot of work to manage your position in the group. And sometimes sacrifice. So do you even want to be an insider? The answer is usually yes Generally speaking, the in-crowd gang gets the most perks, the best assignments, the most forgiveness for screw-ups. There are more chances to strut your stuff and line up the next promotion. So, lots of good career reasons why it’s better to be in. But that isn’t always true. When you don’t want to be an insider Peer led in-groups Sometimes in-groups form which are not boss-led. They may be all the cool guys or at least those who think they are. They’re often more social than work-oriented. Join the group because it’s fun or exciting but not for your career. Groups opposed to the company goals This kind of gang does exist. Members don’t buy the company’s direction, don’t trust management, and believe they could run things better. All of which may be true, but they often enjoy scepticism more than rectifying. Eventually, you’ll tire of cynicism which goes nowhere. You don’t need to be Pollyanna, but neither is it helpful to be an insider…

Becoming Part of the Power Crew
Power for Employees / January 14, 2021

Becoming Part of the Power Crew Okay, you’ve decided that you want into the in-group crew. How? Working hard? Taking one for the team? If the world were fair, that would do it. But plenty of hard-working, dedicated, and decent guys are thanked for their contribution but never invited in. Hard work is a given. In-groupedness seems something else. First, don’t make it obvious Don’t look desperate to get in. Remember the cartoon with a big bulldog and a snappy, friendly puppy jumping around to get his attention? Didn’t work then and it won’t work for you. Due to human perverseness, wanting something nakedly makes you needy and not power crew material. Don’t talk about wanting in, or hang around the in-group hopefully, etc. Be cool while working what I outline below. Upping the chances of getting in with the crew These may sound phony, artificial, and even beneath you. They are. Problem is, they also work. Dress like them Not the flashy ties your boss wears, but you really should dress for the position you want. What’s the power crew wearing? If they’re a jeans and Ts crowd, great. But if they’re business casual or even suits, and you…

Preventing the Slide out of the Elite Group
Power for Employees / January 11, 2021

Preventing the Slide out of the Elite Group In the last post, we discussed whether you were being ousted from your work’s in-group elite. This post is about how to prevent the slide if you can. Verifying your status in the elite Before you panic, you need to confirm that you are actually on the way out. Don’t talk to your boss. I know it’s the most direct route—he’s the one who creates the elite. But think a moment. Suppose you say: “Hey, boss, I would have liked a heads-up about the Merkling merger.” Will he say, “Yeah, I didn’t because you’re not my go-to guy anymore.”? More likely is an omg or an embarrassed and stumbling justification why you didn’t need to know. If you believe the omg, things go back to normal. If you don’t, all you’ve done is raise something most people like to keep underground. Not a good way to stay in. Ask a trusted colleague? You might have luck here, but the colleague has to be practically family. The colleague might be reluctant to pass on unpalatable news or risk her own standing if the boss finds out she has done so. Unless you’ve got…