Frances Horibe's

Defending Against Recognition Stealers In the last post, you found out that you and your collaborator, Wes, had completely different interpretations of whether he had hogged the limelight. You were eventually able to work out things out. But what if you have suspected all along that Wesley, hail-fellow-well-met that he is, is unlikely to be trustworthy in sharing recognition? How do I know if he’s a recognition stealer? It’s not always easy, especially since Wesley has been helpful with your project and added value. But some things you can look for: Does he use ‘I’ a lot? I did it rather than we did it. This can be an indication of his penchant. Is he the first off the mark? That is, he consistently grabs the first word even in just regular get-togethers. Does he go on and on? He never takes a breath so someone else can break in. All of these are annoying but can just be the signs of a vigorous extrovert. The real kicker is: Do you trust him? If you already find yourself picking your words carefully when with him or avoiding sharing ideas, you might have something to worry about. Setting up differently Knowing…

Confronting an Idea Stealer In the last post, you had developed the idea for a game for pre-kindergarten. Wesley, who is senior to you but not your boss, had been very helpful in brainstorming solutions to problems. But when both of you were asked to present the game to the management group, Wesley took all the airtime, making you look like a hanger-on. After the meeting, you are steaming at the dirty trick. You’re gonna get him on it. The letting-off-steam approach You: Why did you do it? Wesley: Hey, Nick, they liked the idea! You: Yeah, with you hogging all the credit. Wesley: What? I was showing the product in the best light. You: And where do you get off giving it a name? Wesley: It just came to me. But good, no? You: That’s not the point. I couldn’t get a word in edgewise. Wesley: What are you talking about? I saved your ass when you clammed up. You: I didn’t—you didn’t let me have any air time. Wesley: Let you? I wasn’t stopping you—I was covering for you. You: And took all the credit. Wesley: Oh, grow up, Nick. I’m not your babysitter—if you want air time,…

My Colleague is Taking Credit for My Work You are looking forward to getting credit for a new, and even innovative, product you’re developed for your employer, a very large children’s toy manufacturer. It fills a niche for pre-kindergarten in your company’s line. The game doesn’t require as much manual dexterity as those for older children but is more challenging mentally then the regular pre-kindergarten stuff. This could be a great selling feature. You’ve put a lot of sweat equity into this and felt that there has been real team work with Wesley, a more senior designer. He is not your supervisor but he’s been a big help, throwing around ideas. You two are ready to present the prototype to your management. The presentation meeting Manager: So Wesley and Nick want to give us an update on the smart pre-kindergarten game. Who’s gonna start? You and Wesley look at each other. Before You can say anything: Wesley: Why don’t I? I’m really happy with the progress on what I’m thinking of calling the Baby Einstein game. This is news to you! Manager: Hey, I like that. Taps into the whole bragging rights for parents. Wesley: Yes, I thought so, too,…

Fake It Until You Make It: Benefiting from Being In So you’re in the in-group. You’re invited to the TGIFs and the bull session isn’t complete without you. Congratulations. However, a seat at the table is not enough. If all you do is laugh at their jokes and nod vigorously, you’ll gradually but surely slip out of the in-group. To stay in, you need a presence. How? This post will discuss what you need and how you should fake it until you feel confident. Good interventions When first included, you may not know the topic or perspective needed. Do some homework. Zero in on where to make an effective intervention. Being for or against is not usually enough. Make substantive points. Fit them in as appropriate but don’t cram. Even one effective intervention will add credibility. Don’t talk off the top of your head. Prepare to impress. Make the point quickly Often people have good points but don’t say them effectively and quickly. They give the impression of thinking out loud. Don’t assume you can. You’re untested and the group won’t sit through your musings. Practice the effective and quick words which will make your good point. If you pique…