How Not to Aggravate Your Boss

In the previous post, we identified how you might inadvertently use a personal attribute to aggravate your boss. I’ll take each attribute and suggest how you might lower the threat level if you think it exists.

Smarter

In front of others, in a meeting—not good venues. If the correction must come, it should be in private. Now, I’m not talking “No, the bathrooms are on the left.” There are corrections of minor facts which should not aggravate.

But if you are correcting on logic, strategy, policy, tactic or opinion, these are ones which might drop you into trouble. Rather than correct your boss in the meeting, do it in private. But even in private,

NOT “You were wrong/misguided/mistaken…”

INSTEAD “I was a little confused in the meeting. My understanding was that [insert your correct information], but in the meeting, it seemed that it was more [insert error]. Did I miss something?”

Also, think whether the issue is important enough to raise at all. If it will prevent your unit from attaining its goals, perhaps. If no wars are going to be fought if you don’t, think again.

More articulate

NOT “What she meant was…”

INSTEAD “Just to add to what she was saying, [insert better interpretation]…”

And again, do you really need to do anything at all?

Better liked

NOT “I know you don’t get along well with Sandra. Would you like me to encourage her to adopt your plan?”

INSTEAD Do nothing. It is your boss’ job to manage her staff, not yours. Your offer is not likely to be interpreted as kindly meant even if it is.

Taller

NOT Standing whenever you are with your boss.

INSTEAD Try to sit down in his presence. I know, I know, this seems like a particularly stupid one but they don’t talk about the short man syndrome for nothing.

Thinner

NOT “I never eat dessert.” This is said when the boss is reaching for a chocolate éclair. “I just can’t afford the calories.”

INSTEAD Just SHUT UP

.

Better dressed

NOT “You know, that shade of blue really washes you out. You shouldn’t wear it.”

INSTEAD Pick something you can praise “I like that blouse” or again SAY NOTHING.

Better educated

NOT “In my Masters’ course, I covered this. I don’t know why nobody will listen to me.”

INSTEAD “I know we need to take into account [name context items like what’s been tried before, personal preferences of those in power, feasibility, cost, length of implementation], but I was wondering if [insert shortened version of your idea] might work.”

You aggravate kindly

I know that many of these comments arise because you’re truly trying to be helpful. Just be sure that your boss wants the help. For example, if your boss comes says, “I notice how well turned out you are. How do you do it?”—she’s indicating that she would welcome the advice. Unless you get a signal like that, often your best bet is to be like the three monkeys. See Nothing. Do Nothing. Say Nothing.

Next post—when these tactics don’t work.