Frances Horibe's

Self-confidence Done Right In the previous post, your self-confidence blind-sided you when trying to solve a problem with your colleagues. You thought you had a solution but nobody would implement. What went wrong? Well, there were a couple of things: You assumed leadership: Normally, it’s a good thing to have someone in the group who wants to take ownership of the problem and come up with a solution. But because you are all peers, your automatic assumption that you were the leader (implied: the boss) was unwarranted. Didn’t ask others’ opinions: With Ken’s objections (church commitments and babysitting), you handled them on their face value—that is, problems to be solved on the way to your solution. You didn’t consider whether his objections possibly reflected a more general feeling of discomfort with your proposed approach. You didn’t check for level of support for your idea: I think it is evident that at least some in the group didn’t buy your idea because they refused to implement it. If you’d surfaced these objections in the meeting, things might have gone better. Self-confidence done right Let’s replay the meeting from the last post to get a better outcome. You: So, guys, I’ve been…

When Being Outgoing Can Do You In As I have discussed previously, extroverts rule the roost in most work places. They earn more, get more promotions, and are generally more valued than introverts because of their willingness to lead and sometimes even their charisma. So, if you’re outgoing, you’ve got it made at work. Or so you might think. But before we get going, let’s agree on our terms. What is an extrovert? It is generally agreed that the definition of an extrovert is related to the source of his/her energy. Introverts get their energy from being alone; extroverts from being with people. A person who is outgoing tends to: Which confers advantages at work because: Like talking You’re more likely to keep everybody in the loop Enjoy being at the center of attention You’re more likely to take on leadership roles Act first before thinking You can be great in a crisis Enjoy group work You thrive in and are committed to team endeavors So, all to the good, right? And generally that is the case. However, extroversion can come with its own set of pitfalls. When being outgoing can get you into trouble Here’s an example of when…

More Ways to be Successful with Shyness In the last post, I discussed how to up your chances to get extra research money by taking a more active role in shaping how things roll out. There are other ways to be successful even with your shyness tendencies. Shyness prevents these extroverted actions Speaking up: There are undoubtedly situations where you have an opinion about how your unit should function. You typically might not engage in the debate or, if you feel really strongly, go to the boss afterwards to get him to change his mind. This is usually doomed to failure. You need to be able to speak up at the time if it impacts your work in a significant way. Putting yourself forward: It would be nice to think that all your good, hard, and even innovative work will be hailed and loudly lauded. If that is happening at your work place, stay where you are—you’re not gonna get it anywhere else. Typically, the quiet ones are either taken for granted or, at best, are thrown a bone (“Oh, yeah, that Amber—backbone of the unit.”) But backbones don’t get the to-die-for assignments—mouths do. If you want something that others…

Feigning Extroversion In the last post, I gave you an example of when introversion can prevent you from being successful even if it’s not about salary or promotions. This is where feigning can come in. How feigning extroversion helps There were several times during that interaction when your introversion didn’t help you get the extra research money. I won’t replay the whole conversation, but pick some bits to discuss. Narita claims she did an analysis: Narita: Great, I’ve done the analysis, Jeff, and I can deliver three months earlier with the infusion of new money. Introverts typically need time to reflect before they can react. Springing claims in the meeting can be off-putting. But you could have said: You: That’s great, Narita. Could you walk us through the analysis? This gives you time to reflect—still a bit on the fly but better than nothing. You try to get a focus on the data: You: Can I see the analysis? Narita: Sure, I’ll send it to you. Three months gives us a jump on production. We might be able to make the spring sales conference instead of the fall’s. She breezed by the lack of analysis to the carrot she is…

Being Quiet Can Do You In As discussed in the last post, being extroverted rather than introverted is more likely to reap the rewards companies have to offer. Even if you are not interested in money or promotions, being too quiet can still cause you problems. YOU are in a meeting with your boss, Jeff, and a colleague, Narita. A limited amount of extra research money has become available and Jeff will decide whether YOUR project or Narita’s gets it. You know that your research is more important than hers, and therefore it’s only rational you should get the money. Why is Jeff bothering with the meeting? Narita: Hi, Jeff, how are the kids? Jeff: Great, thanks. Kaitlain’s team just won the regional finals. You: [silence] Jeff: Guys, I don’t have a lot of extra money and it won’t have much impact if I split it between you two, so I’m giving it to only one. Narita: Great, I’ve done the analysis, Jeff, and I can deliver three months earlier with the infusion of new money. You: Can I see the analysis? Narita: Sure, I’ll send it to you. Three months gives us a jump on production. We might be…