Frances Horibe's

Can You Be Successful if You’re Shy? Business is the land of the extrovert, not for the shy. It is estimated that 75% of the work population are extroverts. I have some trouble with this stat. Seventy-five percent of the people I know aren’t extroverts. But I can round this square if I amend the statement slightly to say that 75% of the people act extroverted in the work place. Why would a reserved person fake extroversion at work? Because research shows that extroverts have more money-earning capacity and more promotions. Meanwhile, the hard-working quiet ones who do all the heavy lifting don’t necessarily reap the rewards they should from their efforts. So, can you be successful at work if you are an introvert? That’s what we’re going to explore, but first: What does being shy or introverted mean? Psychology Today has a good definition. Generally I think an easy way to recognize it in yourself is whether you draw energy from being on your own, or in the company of others. It’s not all or nothing, of course. You might enjoy the TGIF with the guys or the pick-up hockey games on the weekends and still need time on…

How to How to Combine Team and Career Goals In my post, When Not to Take One for the Team, YOU were told that you had to take one for the team by not attending a conference you really want. You might have felt that, in that post, you gave into your boss Gwen’s insistence too easily. But as I pointed out in Downsides of Refusing to Take One for the Team, you can pay a price in your career goals for refusing to accept the decision and stubbornly sticking to your ‘right’ to go. But you might be able to get something of what you want while avoiding the negative feelings that emanate if you insist. Compromise to help your goals Let’s return to the conversation. This is what happened when you were pushing for an all-or-nothing solution. Gwen: Still, if nobody volunteers, I think we have to go with whose work is least relevant. You: Well, I think it’s relevant but if you think that it’s right for the team… Here’s another way to take this. Gwen: Still, if nobody volunteers, I think we have to go with whose work is least relevant. You: I was wondering if…

Downsides of Declining to Take One for the Team In the previous post, YOU made your case for going to an important conference but were overruled by the boss. But YOU might feel that you didn’t fight hard enough. You might be right—more argument might make a difference. However, declining to give up could win you the battle but lose the war. Winning the battle but losing the war As I have mentioned in other posts, the pressure to get along within a team can be overwhelming. And from the manager’s or company’s point of view, that’s a good thing. A harmonious work environment is pleasant and assumed to be optimally productive. (This isn’t always true, of course—see my post Getting Along Can Do You In). But in order to create this harmony, everybody in the group has to implicitly agree not to rock the boat. Those refusing to abide by that rule (like continuing to push conference attendance) are at least frowned upon, if not actively sanctioned. “That’s not fair!” I can hear you say. “People should not be punished for sticking up for themselves.” Absolutely right. However, the desire for harmony trumps almost everything else in the work…

When Not to Offer to Take One for the Team As I covered in the previous post, taking one for the team is often the right way to go. But sometimes, you should not offer. When to stick to your guns and not offer to take the hit When this is very, very important to you and/or your career. Maybe you need to attend because you are actively scouting for a new job. Naturally, you can’t say that but you need to go. When you think it’s somebody else’s turn. You may already know that, for example, Tim has been to the conference every year for the last five. When you feel you are being unfairly pressured. It’s not as probable in the scenario I’ve laid out, but if you feel that you’re targeted, you may want to resist. How do you avoid being a volunteer? In the original scenario, your boss, Gwen, asked YOU, Tim, or Sacha to forego the conference. Let’s pick up the conversation from that point. Reprise Gwen: I was kind of hoping for a volunteer. DO NOT be the first to speak no matter the length of the silence. The first to speak often puts…

When to Surrender and Take One for the Team As in life, people who never compromise, volunteer, or surrender their own wishes and needs to those of others—well, they might be successful but they surely aren’t popular. And frankly, I doubt they are all that successful either. Purely pragmatically, it is in your best interest to be seen as someone who will take one for the team. Your colleagues like you more and are more likely to help out when you need it. A team willing to give and take is a good place to work, as well as (usually) more effective. We all want to have a job where we love to get into work—being a good team member can contribute to that environment. So when is the right time to surrender and take one for the team? There can be any number of right times, but here are some you might want to consider if we are talking about the previous situation where someone can’t go to a high-value conference. Others have not had the opportunity. You’ve already attended twice. Is there another team member who has attended only once or not at all? Fairness might suggest that…